Tag Archives: Ridge Forrester

Horrific, Old-School Halloween Costumes

Halloween is getting closer, homies, and if you don’t know what you’re dressing up as yet, you’d better get on it! There’s only twelve days left until the 31st! Don’t be one of those shopping-at-the-Walgreens-at-eight-PM-on-the-day-of-kind of people. There’s nothing left by then, and you’ll be out of luck. :( Need some ideas? Get a cool scarf and a wig; be Dr. Who (Tom Baker era) or Ridge Forrester. Get some red sweatsuits; go as Datarock. Get some lipstick and mascara and a wig; go as Robert Smith or Frank-N-Furter. Get some bacon; eat the bacon. If you’ve got a Santa suit, throw that thing on! Just make it work! ;)

Dressing up for Halloween doesn’t have to be so hard. People were dressing up long before Walmart existed. They probably had to walk a hundred miles through the woods in the dead of night to get that burlap sack to make a simple ghost costume. IFC recently put together a collection of some old costumes. I’d say the majority of those photos are pretty horrifying, especially this one:

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This one’s pretty freaky, too.

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What would you do if this gang arrived at your door?

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Look, if they could do it, you can do it. You’ve gotta do it to get that candy, people.

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They Go in Threes: Susan Flannery Leaving the B&B

These days, it seems like all the soap stars are leaving. First, Ronn Moss (The Bold and the Beautiful), then Steve Burton (General Hospital). This December, Susan Flannery is going to leave the B&B. This is super crappy, especially now that Ridge is gone, apparently distraugt somewhere at sea over Brooke’s latest lie (she returned earlier this week from their honeymoon without him). With Stephanie hackin’ it up again, I had already suspected that they would be killing her off, and this article today confirms it. :(

Obviously, I’m wondering just how they’re going to work Ridge into this. Will Ronn Moss make a special appearance to show Ridge’s tiny, stoic tears one more time? Will he drape one of his many scarves across his mother’s headstone? HOW?! Of course, it could be that this is when they’ll introduce the new Ridge. Will he show up at the door, just in time to say goodbye to his mother, or, perhaps, be too late?!

When they do recast Ridge, it will be pretty difficult to accept. After all, only Ronn Moss can play the Ridge Forrester that I really love. This Yahoo! article suggests a few possible replacements, including the Hoff. Out of all of them, I think Ted King would be the best choice. I honestly can’t even begin to imagine David Hasselhoff playing Ridge Forrester. Maybe Bradley Bell should just go crazy and get Fabio to do the job. ;) By the way, Fabio will be actually be making a special appearance on the B&B!!! I never knew he’d even been on the show, but, according to his Wikipedia page: “He appeared in “The Bold and the Beautiful” a number of times, as a close friend of the character Sally Spectra (Fabio and Darlene Conley, who played Sally, were close friends in real life).” Who knew?!

However it happens, it’s sure to be  sad as hell. There’s going to be a lot of crying and a lot of lingering shots of Stephanie, just looking at everyone else and knowing that she doesn’t have long to go. :( Brooke’s bound to be sobbing, Hope’s sure to make it all about her, and Katie will be definitely blame it on Steffy. Seriously though, watching Pam during and after losing her sister is going to be the saddest thing ever. That poor Pam. :(

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Ronn Moss Leaving ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’

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This is, of course, devastating news. Ronn Moss hasn’t said anything about it on his Twitter. It is apparently over a money dispute. Hopefully an agreement can be reached?! Read about it here.

UPDATE (Aug. 12, 2012): SoapOperaNetwork.com has an updated article here. His last day of taping will be August 14. Just don’t know how B&B is going to work this into the story! I mean, what’s Brooke going to do without Ridge?!?

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Ronn Moss in Car Crash

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Everybody keep Ronn Moss and his wife in your thoughts and prayers! Apparently, the two were involved in a bad multi-car crash on Friday. They are both okay, but Ronn Moss had an injury to his head and shoulder. He tweeted about it on his Twitter account, including a photo of their truck after the accident. For those of you who don’t know, Ronn Moss plays Ridge Forrester onThe Bold and the Beautiful. He is also the bassist of the band Player. CBS Soaps In-Depth have an article availible at this link: http://cbs.soapsindepth.com/2012/07/bb-star-in-car-crash.html

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The B’s of TV: Hope Logan

Hope Logan is beloved by many. I have tried to get inside the heads of all the Hopeless fans. Why do these people love her so?

You know, I can’t come up with anything, because HOPE SUCKS.

Hope must have cast some witchedy spell on the universe which causes people to think she is Miss Perfect. Hardly! First off, if you are born a Logan, you are automatically (A) a jerk, (B) an idiot, (C) skanky, or (D) all of the above. Hope is, of course, all of the above.

When Hope isn’t poppin’ pills, she’s telling “her man”, Loser-Face Liam, how glad she is they’re finally married and how all she wants to do is make “luvvvv” and live life in a seemingly permanent state of delusion.

Hope has had a very hard life, what, with ol’ Slutty Pants (aka Brooke Logan) for a mother. Hopeless entered the Bold and the Beautiful world as the product of an affair between Brooke and her then son-in-law, Deacon Sharpe. You must be thinking, “Wow, ol’ Slutty Pants really has no morals.” You’re right. Brooke just can’t seem to keep her trousers on.

I can’t blame Hope totally for being such a moron; she got the famous Logan brains, which is, no brains at all. Take, for example, her recent anger at her step-father, Ridge. She was mad because he refused to design her wedding dress. Okay, well, Ridge said, “Hope! I can’t do it! You’re marrying my other daughter, Steffy’s, husband! The divorce isn’t even final yet.” This would probably make to sense to most people, but not to Hope, because she’s  an idiot.

Now, life hasn’t been all lollipops and rainbows for Hope. Who could forget when Brooke “accidentally” slept with her daughter’s boyfriend, Oliver Jones, at Hope’s high school graduation party? Brooke tried to explain her way out of yet another affair with one of her daughters’ beaus; she thought Ridge, who was chaperoning at the party, too, just wanted to have sex out in the open on a balcony, while all of Hope’s high school BFFs were dancing to some dude called Daddy Yankee’s never-ending song. To Brooke, of course, this made sense. Oliver said the lights and the music confused him, and he was understandably grossed out after discovering it was not Hope, but her mother (!!!) that he was with.

Now, Hope has long-since forgiven her mother for her uncontrollable sleaziness. She dumped Oliver, who has apparently floated out of orbit or something, and fell in love with mighty Bill Spencer’s son, Liam. Now, just being Dollar Bill’s son, you would think Liam would be a pretty cool guy. However, he is everything Bill is not:

  1. Ugly
  2. Whiney
  3. A loser
  4. A Bob Hope fan
  5. A liar
  6. Indecisive
  7. Not loyal
  8. Has a crappy beard
  9. Fake
  10. A BIG LOSER

Everyone who is conscious and who watches B&B is aware of Hope and Liam’s rocky relationship. He was with Hope, they got engaged, he figured out how great Steffy is, he and Steffy got married, he and Steffy got divorced, and, now, he and Hope are married. Liam sucks and can’t make up his mind. Of course, if he were a smart man, which he is definitely not, he would obviously drop Hope and go back to Steffy. Now, I love Steffy. She is my girl, but I don’t know why she or how she ever fell in love with this dope. She belongs with Bill! Please, Steffy, stop pining for this idiot!

Returning to why Hope sucks:

Hope apparently can do no wrong, despite having an affair with a married man and getting hooked on psycho pills. And after this Thursday’s episode, I think she’ll need to get back on them! That’s fine with me. Personally, I like Hope when she’s drugged up. I mean, she fell into a pool and practically drowned last time. What’s next? Falling to her death from someone’s private jet? (yay!)

Before I close, here are just a few more reasons why Hopeless sucks:

And that is why Hope Logan is a B of TV.

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Screaming on the Inside: Sparklers in My Eyes

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, based upon the Bold and Beautiful character, Ridge Forrester.

Sparklers in My Eyes

It was the Fourth of July, and I was spending it with my family at our two-billion-dollar mansion, filled with weirdly-posed, nude statues and smoke. Brooke had burnt yet another bird in the oven. I used my twenty-foot scarf, wrapped eloquently around my delicate throat, to shield my face from the clouds of black smoke.

“Brooke!” I screamed in stoic agony, holding onto the railing as I ran down to the kitchen.

Brooke stood there, holding the bald eagle I myself had shot that morning in a blackened, crumbling pan. She smiled sadly and shook her head. “I can’t believe I did it again!” she said. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed, and she looked at the fiery bird with a hint of suspicion in her eyes. “I’m sure Steffy had something to do with it.”

“Oh, Logan, come on.”

“I agree,” said Hope from the doorway, with Liam by her side looking awkward. “Steffy’s having a hard time. She can’t get over the fact that I’m married to Liam. I’m sure it was an accident, though.”

“She isn’t even here-“ I tried to point out.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to eat something else!” Brooke said, throwing the smoldering bird out of the window, pan and all. She plucked off her oven mitts and looked up at everyone with a smile, saying, “Why don’t we do Chinese?”

“That sounds perfect, Mom!”

“Yeah, what’s more American than Chinese?” Liam joked.

“Hahaha,” I said, whipping out my cell phone.

_-_

We sat on the porch that evening, eating our Chinese food and watching the stars twinkle at our little table. Hope and Liam sighed and fed each other with their chopsticks, while Brooke noted that a new constellation seemed to have formed in the shape of Hope’s face.

Meanwhile, in the far distance, I could hear Steffy’s cries of anguish, smell Pam’s famous lemon bars, feel Taylor’s confusion over Thorne’s whereabouts. Over the hills, I could see Nick Marone shooting off star-shaped fireworks from his boat in the harbor, and to the east, Jackie and Owen creating fireworks of a different kind on a playground. Liam pointed out the police car heading their way.

A gust of wind rushed past us, blowing my scarf majestically. The thirty candles Brooke had lit upon the table all went out.

“Steffy really has it out for us tonight, doesn’t she?” she laughed. She went inside to find the matches. My attention turned to the young couple across from me.

“Liam, I’m so glad we’re finally married,” Hope was saying to Liam.

“Me, too.”

“It’s like our hearts melted together on our wedding night; they beat as one now.”

“Uh, yeah-“

“I hope Steffy will understand soon. She’s got to get over the fact that you love me more than her sometime, right?”

“Yeah, uh, hey, you wanna do some sparklers?”

“Okay, I’ve got a match!” Brooke announced, hurrying out the door to the table. She lit a match to light the candles, but was distracted by the pack of sparklers Liam was showing Hope. Liam noticed her and offered her the box.

“You want one, Mrs. Forrester?”

“Sure!” She smiled, taking them all. Her face brightened suddenly. “Hey, I’ve got an idea…”

“What’s that, Logan?” I asked.

“Well, why not just light up the candles with these?” she asked, gesturing to the sparklers. She held the match to them, and everyone watched as they began to flicker.

“Logan, I don’t know…”

“Oh, yeah, Mrs. Forrester, that might not be safe-“

“Sounds great, Mom!”

“MY EYES!”

I pushed back from the table, tipping over my seat and falling to the ground. I clutched my face in agony, trying to shield it from the out of control sparklers. Brooke was screaming above me, waving the sparklers helplessly. She flailed around as sparks rained down upon my wounded face.

“Ridge, what happened?” Hope cried.

“Uh, your scarf is on fire, Mr. Forrester!” Liam told me helpfully.

I squinted my scorched eyes. The night was dark, but the flames made it bright; I still couldn’t see clearly! I could just make out Brooke standing near me. It looked like she was dancing in an electric storm of red, white and blue. My Logan… she always had been so patriotic.

“Damn you, Steffy!” she was screaming, and I could hear the tears in her voice.

“Steffy isn’t here!” I said raspingly from where I lay, my face ablaze. Not even my tears could dampen the flames. “Steffy isn’t here…”

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Screaming on the Inside: Fading into Obscurity

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, based upon the Bold and Beautiful character, Ridge Forrester.

Fading into Obscurity 

It was a Sunday just like any other Sunday, except it was Tuesday. It was sunny outside, a hundred a fifty degrees outside. My hair was hot and dripping with sweat, running down into my eyes like hot lava spewing from a volcano. It was unbearable.

I thought I would die.

I walked through the empty parking lot, passing the grocery store entrance for the fiftieth time. Where was my car? I wondered. Where had I parked? The bags of groceries felt like thousand-pound weights in my artistic and masterful hands. I thought my fingers would rip apart.

“Hey, you!” I finally said to a young boy. “Have you seen my Ferrari?”

“Your what-?!”

“My Ferrari, boy!” I screamed stoically in desperation, feeling like my lips would crumble. I was so thirsty, and my Chapstick was out of reach. “Where is it?”

“Is that it?” he said, pointing north at the road.

“Why?” I screamed, my expression unchanging. “Why, God, why?”

There went my Ferrari, tires screaming as it roared out of the parking lot. I ran after it, crossing the entire parking lot, my polyester shirt suffocating me in the sweltering, unforgiving heat. I shook my hands in fury. I gasped for breath. My lungs and my eyes were on fire. The sweat caused my sunglasses to fog up. I couldn’t see!

I couldn’t see…

“No!” screamed the young boy behind me.

I tripped over a break dancer, sending us both flying into oncoming traffic. I pushed and shoved, beat him with the gallon of milk I’d bought not two hours before.

“Get off of me!” he begged, fighting back. He knocked the designer sunglasses off my face, revealing my bleeding, sun-burned eyes.

Suddenly, the milk jug exploded, right into my eyes. I collapsed onto the hot asphalt, clutching my scorched face and screaming in agony.

“Who are you?!” the break dancer demanded, standing somewhere near my head. He grabbed my arm and tried to drag me out of the road. Drivers were blaring their horns, cars screeching to a halt as they saw us.

“The groceries!” I gasped, blindly reaching out a hand to find them.

“Are you crazy, man?! Who are you?!”

“I… I’m Ridge Forrester.”

Who?”

The break dancer pulled me to safety. A crowd was gathering around me, though I could not see. Blood, sweat, soured milk, and tears clouded my vision.

“What happened?!” a woman cried.

“What happened to the milk?!” screamed another.

“Who is that bloody-eyed freak?!” asked a fearful man.

“He’s Ridge Forrester!” the boy from earlier answered.

“What?”

“I’m Ridge Forrester,” I said, the sound of sirens drowning out my rasping voice. “I’M RIDGE FORRESTER!”

But nobody heard.

Nobody cared.

I lay there, bleeding from my eyes, missing the skin on my back, my milk a steaming puddle in the road, my sunglasses crushed beneath a taxi’s tire.

Who was I? Even I didn’t know anymore.

I was fading into obscurity.

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